Just Old Memories
by Midnight
Summary: Jubilee, alone in the X-men Mansion, faces some of her past memories. Please Review


The characters are not mine, they belong to Marvel and I'm just borrowing them. This happens after Everett and Scott's death. Another thing. 'means thoughts' and Jubilee's thoughts are suppose to be how they are. Remember what she has been threw.

Just Old Memories

By Midnight.

' Why don't people understand? That's the question that has been racing threw my mind since Bastion and the death of Ev. Have I not had it bad enough with the death of my parents, Kitty always stealing Wolvie right when I needed him the most, Bastion torturing me, My room being burnt to the ground, Ev dying, and now this. Why can't the see that I'm hurting? God, for once these people need to open their eyes and look behind that smile I have to hide what I can. I don't really mean to hide my feelings, I just can't take it and I'm afraid of what might happen if they found out who I am. A scared girl who wants nothing more then to be held and that everything would be all right.'

'Here I am, in the X- Mansion all alone. I don't know why I decided to stay here after Jono and Paige asked me to come. Actually I do know why. When we first arrived at the mansion I was hoping that perhaps Wolvie would be here and he would give me one of those big bear hugs that made everything all right. But it's not all right and he wasn't here. No, he had to go with his precious Kitty, because she was having problems with her boyfriend. What a load of crap. She doesn't even know what problems are. I do, My whole life is one big problem, sure there are happy times but they always seem to be covered up by those events that would make normal people shiver and hide for the rest of their lives. But not Jubilee, no, She is the strongest person on this team, mentally anyway and maybe physically. You don't see Monet smiling after she was tortured by an asshole who only wanted info on the X-Men, but wait, Monet wasn't tortured and if she was she would be in her normal denial state of mind.'

'God, Jubilation, stop it. It's neither Kitty nor Monet's fault you're this way. Stop blaming them. You only have yourself to blame; you could have gotten free had you tried harder. Bastion wouldn't have even noticed. No, he would have and I did try. I tried as hard as I could. It isn't my fault that I was in that situation. It's not my fault. God I'm so confused. Why did all this start attacking now? I thought I had gotten rid of all of it' Jubilee looked ran to the bathroom and washed of her tear-streamed face. She looked at her image in the mirror and turned away disgusted. She sat down on the cold tile and started to cry again. She cried her heart out as she held her head in her hands wishing against everything she had been threw for a knight in shining armor to save her.

' Stop this Jubilee, You have to save yourself. There are no knights anymore. Grow up. They all died when Bastion put his hands on you. NO, they died before that, when your parents died and no one saved you from the pain. NO, they died even before then. GOD, why does all this shit have to happen to me. I'm only 17. I'm just a young woman. Why does everyone have to load this shit on me? I can only take so much. When will I ever get a brake, when will I be bale to look at life and smile as happily as everyone thinks. Why can't people see how hurt I am? I know they do, how could they not see the tears in my eyes every time I even think about my past. Just SHUT UP. Why are you doing this to yourself!!!!!' Jubilee got up and ran from the bathroom. She ran until she was out of breath and found herself in the dark forest surrounding the Mansion. This place didn't help much; it felt too much like her mind. She had hoped to out run her pain but found that no matter how hard she ran, it was always one step ahead of her. She fell to her knees and tried to cry some more but found it impossible, she had cried all the tears her body would allow.

'Please, just let me have one good month, with out anyone getting hurt or dying. Please just one month, is that too much to ask. Can't you see I'm dying here? I don't know how much longer I can hold on, just one month to sort out my thoughts and get ready for the punch I know your preparing to hit me with.' Jubilee thought and took a step back. Only to find that she had not scanned to forest as well as she had though and her foot slipped of the edge of a cliff. She grabbed at the earth and got a secure hold as her body slipped off the flat land and only her hands could be seen. 

'Thanks, really thanks a lot.' She thought as she started to clime up but couldn't get a good hold on the cliff with her feet. The roots she held onto with her hands gave way a little under the strain of her body weight. She grabbed blindly not wanting to fall and one hand slid off the moist root. Here she hung one hand with a firm grip on the roots and the other dangling by her side.

' God please, I don't want to die. What did I ever do to deserve this? Please, I just want to have some peace, but not like this. Death isn't the answer for me. Please just help me out this once. Give me that little piece of hope that your praises talk so much of. PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!' Jubilee thought in her mind and tried to bring her other arm but to grab the earth above her but only succeeded in slipping more. 

"SOME ONE, PLEASE HELP, GOD PLEASE, I DON'T WANT TO DIE." Jubilee screamed at the top of her lungs and felt herself slip more and more.

'This is how I'm repaid for helping others, why. I just wanted some time to heal, is that so much to ask? If I die, who's going to bring Logan back from his animal rage? Who's going to cheer up the team when someone gets hurt? Who's going to hold them all together when I'm gone? They need me.' Jubilee screamed in her mind. She felt herself slipping and she could feel the end of the roots flickering at her wrist. Only a few more inches and she would all from this cliff.

'Oh god, would anyone even notice if I'm gone? Would they look for me? What if I do survive this fall and I get hurt so bad that I can't get up? Will they look for me? Please say they will they have to. I'm their teammate and friend, right? Please tell me that I am. Please tell me that they need me as much as I need them. Without their presence I would be nothing more then another mallrat. PLEASE!!!!!!!!!' Jubilee screamed in her mind as her hand slipped from the roots and she felt herself fall. 

"NOOOOOOOO, HELP ME, PLEASE. I NEED HELP!!!" She screamed as loud as possible and fell from the cliff. She could see the top of the cliff leaving her sight slowly. What seemed like years were actually only seconds. "HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPP!!!!!!!!!!" She creamed again and closed her eyes not wanting to see or feel the pain of her body hitting the ground that was at least thirty feet below her. She prayed silently that they wouldn't forget her and just as she was about to say her good-byes to them silently, a hand grabbed hers and she felt a sharp tug at her shoulder. 

"Hold on, P'tite, Gambit got you and he won't let go. Just hold on." She heard the words but couldn't believe them. How? How was he still here? He was supposed to leave with the others to go shopping for Christmas. 

"G…. Gum…Gumbo? Oh God please do let go." She whispered and held onto his hand for dear life. It was then that she realized that she, for the first, Truly trusted her life in another's hands. Sure she trusted Logan with her life, but not fully, because she knew that he might not always be there for her. She opened her eyes and looked into Gambit's red on black demon eyes and at this moment they seemed more like an angel's eyes. 

"Gambit promise he never will drop you, P'tite." He whispered and pulled her up slowly but surely. After a few minutes she was finally at the top and she clung to gambit as he rubbed her back and spoke softly into her ear. The way you speak to a child who had just had a terrible nightmare. Jubilee dug her head into his chest and cried the tears that only moments ago she never thought she would have gotten out. 

'Lord you work in the weirdest ways, But thank you. Just, please, don't do it again.' She thought and started to get the cosmic joke that God had decided to play on her. She starts to laugh and couldn't stop herself. Gambit looked at her in a weird way and smiled lightly.

"What's so funny, P'tite?" He asked already knowing in a way. She looked him in the eyes and shook her head slightly.

"Nothing, Gumbo. And haven't I told you not to call me P'tite." She whispered into his chest and hugged him tight half-afraid that this was just some joke and right now she was really falling.

"Get use to it, Gambit gonna call you P'tite until you get enough brains not to come dancing near a cliff after it rains." He told her and led her to the Mansion. They walked in silence and when the Mansion came into view, Jubilee looked him in the eyes again and asked the question that had been bothering her since they left.

"Remy, I thought you left with the others." Jubilee said in a sot tone. Gambit looked at her and sighed slightly.

"Remy did, but he came back." He answered her question and just as she was about to ask why he put a finger on her lips and smiled his usual smile. "Gambit knew from the look in your eyes dat you needed a friend tonight and he turned around. He just glad he got here in time. So, Chere, what made you so sad dat you been crying?"

"Memories, Just old memories." She whispered and hugged him a bit tighter. Gambit nodded and led her into the mansion lost in his own thoughts about how many times his own memories had plagued him.

Unknown to both the mutants, two figures watched in silence. One taller then the other and had a slightly red glow around his eyes.

" I never knew she felt like that. So much pain." Everett whispered to the taller man.

"I knew, I just didn't know how to help her, but we have both helped her and Gambit tonight." Scott said and looked at the ground slightly ashamed that he hadn't helped the girl who felt like a daughter to him.

"How did we help Gambit?" Everett asked. Scott just smiled and they began to walk back into the forest.

"Watch and you'll see. Jubilee needs a friend who understands her and Remy does, but at the same time he needs a friend to understand him and Jubilation fills that spot nicely." Scott whisper as a white light surrounded them and they slowly lifted off the ground towards heaven. "But one thing is for sure, things are going to be a lot more interesting form now one." 

"What do you mean by that, Summers?" Everett whisper looking at the mischievous grin that he had never before seen on Scott's face.

"Let's just say that, Some people are VERY protective of their loved ones." Scott told Everett with the slightest hint of amusement.

"Oh shit, Summers, what kinda disaster did we just release?" Everett asked as they vanished into the clouds. 

For this night everything was right and calm, but, as Jubilee knows, things will change in as quickly as they started. But that is a story to tell another night, for now. Let's just leave the two new friends in peace.


End file.
